Where did the Air Conditioners Go?
Anika Hossain
If awards were being given out for the greatest mysteries of the year, the saga of our opposition leader Begum Khaleda Zia's home would win hands down. After a rather dramatic and long drawn out episode which according to her, involved her being humiliated and forcibly removed from her residence in Cantonment, under the orders of the ruling party, it has been reported that Begum Khaleda Zia has been acting in an extremely secretive manner about her personal belongings.
Where did they go? . Photo: Star file
A loss of such enormity can leave deep scars on one's psyche. Afterall, she is claiming that she is currently homeless when the Prime Minister Shiekh Hasina has announced that not only does the opposition leader have a house on Minto Road and one in Gulshan, she has several other houses in her own name or "undisclosed names." Therein lies our first mystery. If this is true, and it undoubtedly is, (the leader of our nation would never make blatantly false statements) what goes on in these secretly owned houses?
Parking garage mysteriously missing several cars. Photo: Star file
The theories are endless. Some say they are secret hideaways to safe keep the valuables of the darling sons for whom the mother awaits patiently. These may include a few gold bars from Malaysia, colourful drinks (?) scores of deeds of a few thousand pieces of land and houses, a collection of Origami pieces made with American dollars (such creativity!) and so on. Another theory is that these houses are sanctuaries for professional troublemakers who can be seen vandalising the streets every time there is a problem in the garments sector. Some even say they are used as training centres for BNP supporters on how to conduct themselves during a hartal or when their leader is being forced out of her home (rule number one: Do NOT even consider leaving a demonstration simply because it is too hot). It is entirely possible of course, that she is using the houses for a purpose as innocuous as storage for her make-up, hair products and stock of pink saris and pearls.
Our second mystery lies in the fact that although the BNP Secretary General Khandaker Delwar Hossain claims that Khaleda had no intention of leaving her home and was "forcefully evicted," several eye-witnesses have stated that Begum Zia has been removing boxes of what she claims were personal belongings for several days before the eviction took place.
The army, rab and police officers present at her home during the eviction claimed there were several cartons packed and ready to be moved to her brother's home in Gulshan. Now, if Begum Zia had no intention of moving, and had no idea she would be obliged to obey court orders, why had she been packing? It is possible she had a premonition or perhaps a dream that the PM would throw her out personally if she didn't get going. Smart move. Voters must keep in mind her psychic powers during the next elections.
The dining room after removal of diamond studded (?) chandeliers. Photos: Star file
Hossain also claimed that Begum Zia was taken to an undisclosed location from her home before she was escorted to her office in Gulshan. Mystery number 3: Where and Why? Was she interrogated about her other houses? Maybe the officers wanted to check her bags and boxes to see if she had taken anything that did not belong to her (fixtures and fittings). Or perhaps they wanted to know why a family of ten would need forty eight couches to sit on (seventy four according to our PM which means there are twenty six either stolen or hidden away) and sixty one domestic help to do their household chores. Which brings us to mystery number 4 and 5. The unusually high number of domestic help can be attributed to Khaleda's personal efforts to reduce unemployment in our nation. After all, division of labour increases efficiency and therefore each maid probably has a small, but important role to play in the house. One for manicuring each of her toe nails, one for hair--no it would take more than one person to achieve that signature look. It can be assumed that the couches were used for entertainment purposes. Lets just leave it at that.
The PM also announced that Begum Zia is the proud owner of sixty-four air conditioners. This is rather dumbfounding considering she only has twelve rooms to put them in. But the PM would never lie, and this would mean Begum Zia has at least 5 air conditioners or more in each room. Either these are very, very large rooms or Begum Zia, along with her followers have serious heat allergies. While this itself is a mystery, it does answer for the shocking condition of the electricity supply in the city.
Lets move on to mystery number 7. Begum Zia's premonition/dream had clearly told her that she needed to remove everything that was removable from the house just in case something out of the ordinary happened. Therefore, with absolutely no intention to move on the court ordered day, Begum Zia had systematically removed every chandelier (and there were many) light fixture and bulb from the house and packed them away in one of her hundred cartons. She also had the army officers sign an agreement stating nothing would be damaged in her absence. Which naturally raises the question: Why? What was so special about these fixtures?
Perhaps Begum Zia replaced the glass on the chandeliers with diamonds and the brass holders with gold. Or perhaps the opposition leader has hoarding tendencies. Lets blame it on the aftermath of severe shock.
Mystery number 8 involves the ominously empty swimming pool sitting in Begum Zia's backyard. This pool has not received the attention it deserves or perhaps it was deliberately left out of the news. For one, it is empty, which completely defeats the purpose of its existence. Secondly, has noone wondered where the water goes? What is all that water used for? Was the swimming pool used as storage? For what? More money? Weapons? Skeletons? Will the government launch an investigation into this? All remains to be seen.
The headlines of many newspapers and TV channels have claimed that Khaleda Zia is mortified at being dragged out in a "single outfit" from her home. How many outfits does she normally wear when she leaves that house? Perhaps she should consider dressing lightly in the future given her trouble with high temperatures. The opposition leader may have been so busy packing up the kitchen sink, she had either forgotten to pack her own clothes or had no space in her one hundred cartons to put them in. No wonder she was crying poor thing. After all every woman loves her wardrobe.
Which brings us to mystery number ten, the strangest of them all. In a country like Bangladesh, where a majority of the population is living below the poverty line, it is strange that our leaders should live like the Pharaohs of Egypt. Then again, those Egyptian fellows did believe they could take their treasures to the grave and afterlife. But instead of reproaching them for their extravagance, even beggars on the street are sympathising with Begum Zia's plight. Lets put our heads together and answer this. Do we really deserve to be governed by the likes of these people? Go figure.
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