[mukto-mona] Fwd: [ History Islam & Beyond . . .] Myths and Facts About Muslim Marriage

Here is an interesting article and Islamic perspective on marriage. Hope it will be equally entertain Muslims and non-Muslims alike.


Shalom!

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Women' standards: "He should be tall, dark and handsome. He should have a degree from an Ivy League university, a house in the suburbs that is separate from his family, and a sports-car. He must pray all five prayers in the masjid, and be able to recite the Qur'an perfectly. Oh, and did I mention that he should know how to cook, and help me out in the housework when I am sick?"

 

Men' standards: "Beauty is very important to me. Her hair should be long and thick. She should have eyes for no man besides me. She should never have had any friendships with, or romantic feelings for, any man before. She must be the worldly counterpart of the women of jannah: chaste, fair-complexioned, and untouched, like a preserved pearl. But she must be able to cook as expertly as my mother, and stay at home, keeping it impeccably clean. She should be shy, never answering me back, or raising her voice in front of me when I am angry. After all, as her husband in Islam, I will be like her master."

 

Unrealistic and Idealistic Standards

It is a fact that perfection doesn't exist in this world, and a successful marriage is not the result of two perfectly-matched "alpha" people. Rather it is achieved first by the decree of Allah and then, as a result of sincere effort and hard work put into it, for the sake of Allah's pleasure, and for completing the other half of one's Deen.

Writer discussed many myth and fact. One of them as follow:

Myth: A happy husband and wife never fight

Fact: If a couple never fights, they don't care about each other

If we look at any close relationship, be it that of parent and offspring, brother and sister, grandparent and grandchild, or even bosom buddies, we will observe and admit that friction and fall-outs tend to intermittently happen in them all. It is not possible for any close emotional bond to be absolutely free of quarrels, arguments and emotional "slumps" i.e. periods of time in which both people do not feel happy with each other, and temporarily become distant, even though they still in love.

The same applies to the husband-wife relationship. Temporary time apart from each other allows anger to dissipate and the brain to focus rationally upon the bone of contention, allowing the imminent moment of patching up to become sweeter and more poignant than the fight that caused it.

We should remember that all of us are humans, and human beings have shortcomings and weaknesses. We all make mistakes in every realm of life, and marriage is no exception.

For details please visit: http://www.onislam.net/english/family/laying-foundations/461002-myths-and-facts-about-muslim-marriage.html

Jazakallah khayr katheera,

Md. Monirul Islam

Graduate Student

Mechanical Engineering Department

University of Texas at San Antonio

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