[ALOCHONA] From Karachi DAWN - AUNTIE AGNI: Pakistan Vs Bangladesh

Very enlightening little post from a Pakistani version of a Dear Abby Letter.

AUNTIE AGNI: Pakistan Vs Bangladesh

http://www.dawn.com/weekly/dmag/dmag19.htm

 

 

Dear Auntie,

I am a 27 year old girl. I am independent and working in a big multinational company at an executive post. I am in love with a Bangladeshi who lives in England. I live in Pakistan. We have never met each other, but are very compatible. I got to know him through a friend who lives in England. I have seen his pictures and have showed them to my parents as well and asked for their consent, but they simply refused because of his looks. He is dark, with little hair and fat. My parents are saying that he looks more like an African-American than a Pakistani. I am very attached to this guy and his family. He is very loving and caring and we are both madly in love, but I have told him that I will only marry him with my parents' consent. He is okay with that.

 

It has been two years and my parents are still being stubborn. They continue to search for a groom for me, and when they're unable to find someone my mother says that there is a 'bandish' on me for marriage.

Stuck Up

 

Dear Retrieved,

I can't help but worry about your relationship, because you two haven't even met. Jaan, you really have to know what you are getting into because meeting someone in person is completely different from chatting with them on the net for two years. It is easy to be at your attractive best when meeting twice-weekly; it is even easier to seem incredibly attractive over the net, where I am assuming you have been getting to know each other. So before your run off and grace the shaadi ka stage with a virtual stranger, I suggest you meet the guy (fly to England or get him to come down… surely love is a good enough reason to splurge on an air ticket and face the visa hawks) and decide if you still feel the same. In fact, given your love for each other I am a little surprised that neither of you has made an attempt to meet.

 

If after meeting your Babu several times, you still feel strongly about him, then it is time to prove that you are truly, as you claim, independent. You are not independent if you think there is a 'bandish' on you. The only 'bandish' on your shaadi is you.

 

A good man, no matter what he looks like, is worth fighting for. And racism in any form is worth fighting against. In your letter you dwell on his looks so I am wondering whether you also find him a bit unattractive.

 

The only way around this is to meet him, decide if this is what you want and fight with your parents for your right to marry the decent man you love. It would help to remind your parents that the rest of the world thinks you and he are exactly the same.

 

Auntie will not reply to any letter personally, so stop asking! Send your problems to: auntieagni@gmail.com

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