BEAT HER LIKE A LADY
From a television program aired last year in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait during which cleric Muhammad al-'Arifi advised young men on how to discipline their wives.
Translated from the Arabic by the Washington-based Middle East Media Research Institute.
http://www.memritv. org/clip/ en/1594.htm
"Men beat women more often than women beat men. Allah created women delicate, fragile, supple, and soft because they use their emotions more than they use their bodies. While a man may use beating to discipline his wife, she sometimes uses her tears to discipline him. For men, women's emotions may be fiercer than the strike of a sword.
"Before you beat a woman, first admonish her—once, twice, three times, four times, or ten. If this doesn't help, you must turn to the teaching "refuse to share their beds." Thus, a husband distances himself from his wife in bed and in conversation. If a husband comes to eat a meal and his wife asks him, "How are you? Do you want anything?" he must not answer. The husband should not sleep with his wife. He should sleep in another room.
"If this does not help, then the husband's third option is to beat his wife lightly so it will not leave a mark. He must not make her face ugly. Beating in the face is forbidden. Even if you want your camel or donkey to walk faster, you are not allowed to beat it in the face. If this is true for animals, it is all the more true for humans. If a man is angry with his wife—if he says to her, "Watch out, the child has fallen next to the stove," and she says, "I'm busy"—then the husband should beat his wife with a toothpick or something like it. He should not beat her with a bottle of water, a plate, or a knife. Notice how gentle the toothpick used for beating is—this shows you that the purpose is not to inflict pain. When you beat an animal, you intend to cause it pain so that it will obey you, because a camel would not understand if you said, "Camel, come on, start moving." A donkey understands nothing but beatings, but to a wife, a light beating conveys, "Woman, you have gone too far."
"A husband should not beat his wife like he would a child, slapping it right and left. Unfortunately, many husbands beat their wives only when they get angry, and when they start the beating, they use both hands and sometimes their feet, as if they are punching a wall. Remember, brother, this is forbidden; your wife is a human being.